


Blame It All on the Wine

by writteninweakness



Category: Amnesia (Game & Anime), Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cats, Crossover, F/M, Gen, Humor, Originally Posted on Tumblr, he and ikki do not get along, includes some pictures, jaehee reacts to ikki's eyes, possible crack, prose and chat, some are edited by me, some not, that includes zen, the original characters are cats, will not be enjoyed by people who do not like cats, written by a cat lover
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 15:00:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 18,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18662734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writteninweakness/pseuds/writteninweakness
Summary: Kent gets hired by Jumin to research wine for cats. This leads to him, Ikki, and the heroine joining the RFA and a lot of other chaos, but really, blame it all on the wine.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have been talking about doing this for a while, but I wasn't sure if I was going to make pictures for all the chats or not, and I had already posted some of the pieces as part of another series of drabbles, but I'm going to take that one down and redo it properly, so... I'm separating those pieces out and putting them here.
> 
> The first part was written for a "puppies/kittens" prompt. 
> 
> The group chat is a few parts in, but this first one is probably best separate. It may also be helpful to know that for me in my Kent/Heroine fics, her name is Kokoa and his family name is Mizutani.

* * *

“Let me get this straight. You have a graduate degree in mathematics, and are already well on your way to a doctorate—also in mathematics—and you’re doing research on wine that can be drank by cats?” Ikki asked, frowning. He had to have heard that wrong, though it was a bit hard to mistake the cat in Ken’s arms. Cats, actually, a black one on one shoulder and an orange one playing with his glasses.

“Yes.”

“Oh-kay,” Ikki drew out the word, still frowning. He didn’t really understand—it wasn’t like Ken hated animals or anything, but it was still a little strange to see him surrounded by cats. Yes, this was research, and they were damned adorable, but it was still weird.

“A very generous benefactor agreed to sponsor other research if I was willing to take on this particular side assignment,” Ken said, reaching up to pet the black one. “It does have additional perks even if I never thought I’d enjoy working with animals.”

“Well, yeah,” Ikki said, taking the calico one off the table and checking the name on the tag. Lovelace? Hmm. He would bet all these cats had the names of famous mathematicians. “Is that black Bombay named Aryabhata?”

“No. I wanted to call him that, but she disagreed.”

“She?”

Ken nodded just before the door opened and Kokoa came in, yet another cat cradled in her arms. “I gave Archimedes his medication like the vet said. I hope he was right about it not being contagious. It would be a shame if they all got sick.”

“I think the isolation protocol I enacted when I first noticed signs of his illness helped,” Ken said. “Though I think they are are all relieved to have him back with them.”

“Yes, look at how much Midnight missed his friend,” she said as the Bombay jumped down to get closer to her. She smiled, kneeling down to let the cat out of her arms gently. She stayed there, petting both cats, and Ikki understood what Ken meant by additional perks.

“I see you found a new research assistant,” Ikki said, reaching for Lovelace. “I should be offended. Or maybe just jealous.”

She laughed. “Who could resist working with such cute cats? And Kent’s here, so it’s nice to spend time with him. Though if you’re really lonely, Ikki…”

“You offering to leave Ken for me?”

“Ikkyu.”

“No,” she said, taking the orange cat from Kent before snuggling up against him. “Only we probably won’t be able to keep all of the cats once the study is over. Kent’s parents agreed to take Archimedes and Midnight because they can’t be separated, and Orion is mine, but so far we don’t have anywhere for Lovelace to go.”

“Orion?”

She shrugged. “I wanted to name one of them that, not sure why, and this one had the right personality for it somehow even if the colors are wrong.”

“Well, she is a very lovely lady, this one,” Ikki said, hearing the calico purr and knowing he hadn’t lost his charm. “And I do hate to disappoint a lady.”

“There is still a lot of work to be done if you are actually interested in helping with it and not saying that just to get under my skin by flirting with my girlfriend.”

“Would I do that?”

“Yes. Every time we’re in the same room,” Kokoa said. “If I didn’t know you were doing it because it’s a misguided way of showing affection—”

“Kokoa—”

“—by teasing Kent, I’d be concerned,” she said, leaning even closer to Kent than before. He sighed, and Ikki knew they’d had that conversation before, since he wasn’t stupid enough to think Kent didn’t feel a bit threatened at times even if Ikki’s eyes didn’t affect this girl. “As it is, I know why you do it, and it’s almost sweet.”

“It is not.”

Ikki laughed. “I think I have to agree. I don’t do it to be sweet.”

“Yes, but you both care about each other, and that’s nice. You remind me of Archimedes and Midnight.”

Ikki frowned. “Do I dare ask which one is me?”

“Well, we’re reasonably certain Lovelace’s kittens are from Midnight, so...”

“Not funny.”

“Oh, it was a bit funny.”

“Just you wait, Ken. I will find a math problem even you can’t solve. Then it will be your turn to cry over math.” Ikki said, though it was hard to stay mad when the cat was rubbing her head against him and purring. “How exactly did you get this gig, anyway?”

“That,” Kent said, “is a very long story.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kent's experiment continues, and Ikki is a bit silly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This section was originally what I wrote for "silly debate" and also for "cooking." They're all leading up to the crossover parts and group chat.

* * *

“Ikkyu, the wine was for the cats to drink, not you.”

“I only had Lovelace’s share. You know you can’t give her any because she’s pregnant,” Ikki said, and Kent glared at him. Kokoa bit her lip and tried very hard not to laugh. That was kind of a funny excuse, even if Kent was a little right to be mad about what Ikki had done. The wine blend meant for cats to be able to digest was rare and not necessarily easy to duplicate. They’d have to wait for more to age, and that was not something they wanted. It tried even Kent’s patience, and while she hoped their benefactor would be okay with it, it was hard to know for sure.

“You drank the entire bottle,” Kent said. “Even if that was a valid excuse, that is an excessive amount.”

“Well, look on the bright side,” Ikki said. “This way you know it tastes good.”

Kokoa grimaced. That was not going to help any. “Ikki, the point is to make it not only digestible by cats, but also appealing to them.”

“Exactly. Your opinion does not matter.”

“I’m hurt, Ken. You think so little of me.”

“You make it difficult to esteem you when you behave like this. Please tell me this is not about a woman.”

“Does Kokoa count? Because what you two have always makes me so jealous.”

She sighed. “I do believe there is someone out there that can love you in spite of your eyes. I can’t be the only one not affected. What if it is a willpower thing? Has anyone really tested that before?”

“Ooh, are you going to volunteer?”

“Absolutely not,” Kent said, still a bit defensive and maybe even possessive, not that she minded too much. She liked knowing he loved her as much as he did, and she didn’t really have any interest in trying to love anyone else.

“It would be meaningless if it was me,” Kokoa said, picking up Orion. “The whole thing would be, because I can’t give you a fair chance when I love Kent so much.”

“And this is why I drink alone. With cats.”

“There is a fallacy in that statement. You’re not alone if you’re drinking with cats.”

“Yes. At least Lovelace loves me,” Ikki said, cooing at his cat, much to her dismay. She wasn’t much for cuddling while pregnant.

Kokoa sighed. She wished she knew a good way to reassure Ikki with more than words, but even though she didn’t react to his eyes, that wasn’t enough for him. He wasn’t sure there was anyone else who could do that, and the dating cycle he thought he was stuck in wasn’t healthy.

“Ikkyu, if you promise not to sabotage my experiment again, I will ask my benefactor if I can devote more time to researching a solution to your condition.”

Ikki looked at him. “Really? You’d do that?”

“Of course. Why would you think I’d want to see you like this?”

“Excellent point.”

“I’ll call Mr. Han later. You go sleep it off.”

“Thank you, Ken. You really are a good friend.”

* * *

“What is this? Is this the super deluxe Ken Mizutani Special?”

Kent frowned, shaking his head at Ikkyu as usual. He didn’t know why anyone would call this meal that, as it was both an ordinary meal and also quite common as far as preparation went. Kent frequently had the supplies to make it on hand, and he tended to favor it as it was simple, pleasing, and quick to make.

“It is food, which you need since I believe you may still be intoxicated.”

“You know I don’t spend every waking hour of the day drunk.”

“No, but you do spend a rather large portion of time after any of your relationships end drinking. You get quite ‘maudlin,’ I believe the term is, and also… cuddly.”

“Relax, Ken. I’ve got Lovelace now to get all my cuddles. Though… the fan club keeps threatening to make her my mascot. Why the hell do I need a mascot?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t think you needed a fan club to begin with.”

Ikkyu nodded. “Very true. I don’t. I wonder what would happen if I disbanded them? Would they be heartbroken? I hate hurting people.”

“I posit to you that holding them in a pattern of unrequited emotions and futility is hurting them more in the long term.”

“That’s a very emotional way of thinking about it.” Ikkyu frowned. “Have you been discussing me with your girlfriend again?”

“She studies psychology, and she is also your friend. Not discussing you at least to some degree would be impossible, and it would be disingenuous to allow you to believe we never speak of you.” Kent would admit that Ikkyu was not his favorite subject to discuss with his girlfriend, but she had a kind heart and worried over Ikkyu, while Kent himself found some of Ikkyu’s behavior strange or even had to apply his advice when it came to romance, which meant that he did discuss Ikkyu with others. He’d discussed him with his parents before, too, and they found the lack of scientific explanation for Ikkyu’s condition as intriguing as he did.

“You think I need therapy?”

“She did suggest it might be of assistance. She also said that you probably think you get the equivalent of that when you drink and tell me things I do not wish to know.”

“That’s not what she said.”

“No, but it’s what you do. I know far more than I should about a great many things you do thanks to those drunken confessions you make.”

Ikkyu grimaced. “I’m not that bad. It’s not like I blurt out everything when I’m drunk.”

“No. Your inhibitions are lowered by the apparently euphoric feeling you get when you drink, and you therefore lower your ‘walls’ as well and speak to me of things that you do not tell others. It is unfortunate, of course, that you make these declarations to someone who lacks the sensitivity and emotional understanding to assist you with them. I do not know what I could possibly tell you that would be of assistance. I still find your ‘condition’ impossible, and the emotional nuances of it are well beyond me even as I understand emotions better these days.”

“I don’t really want to see a shrink. They won’t believe me about the wish any more than you do, not unless it’s a woman, and if my eyes affect her, there goes therapy.”

“There is an explanation and a solution. We will find it.”

“It’s not like you to make a statement like that when it can’t be proven.”

Kent had to smile at that. “Yes, well, perhaps it seems excessive or even egotistical, but I believe between your mind and mine, we could solve very nearly anything.”

Ikkyu hugged him, much to Kent’s dismay. “Thank you. Again. You really are the best friend a guy like me could ask for.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ikki's movie night with his cat gets interrupted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written for "watching a movie."
> 
> And it is what really leads into the group chats.

* * *

“If you tell me this movie was the cat’s choice, I may be forced to resort to violence.”

Ikki laughed, giving Lovelace a bit of love before looking up at Kent, who clearly did not approve of the film on the screen. Truth be told, Ikki wasn’t paying much attention to it, though it was nice to have some noise going on in the background. He was pretty sure that tonight was the night for Lovelace’s kittens, and he wasn’t about to leave her alone.

“I don’t know. She does seem to like it.”

Kent sighed, taking off his glasses. He looked tired, and Ikki wondered if one of the other kitties had gotten sick. That would not be good. “I require your assistance.”

“Nope. She’s gonna do it tonight, and I’m not leaving her alone.”

“Ikkyu, you verified my calculations already. She is not expected to deliver until next week. This is all standard for the gestational period of a cat her breed and size. Besides, I can hardly work on researching the issue with your eyes if you are not present.”

Ikki frowned. “Wait, what? I thought we were focused on the cat wine and—”

“Mr. Han is pleased with the early tests, and he offered his personal assistant to aid our research.”

“What?”

“I admit, I was not entirely pleased by this development, and at first I believed it was an attempt at micromanaging us, but as the two women are discussing some actor with an excessive enthusiasm, I would very much like you to make an appearance.”

“Ken, are you trying to use my eyes to get your girlfriend to stop talking about another guy?”

“No.”

“You are.” Ikki laughed, reaching up to pause the movie. He rose and gave Lovelace another glance. Maybe Ken was right and tonight wasn’t the night. “Fine, I suppose. Anything for a friend.”

“I just want you to send her on her way. That is all. No seduction. Just… make her leave before the two of them take over your cat movie with… that actor. Who played a cat once but it wasn’t a cat and I don’t even want to know.”

Ikki laughed, shaking his head as he walked into the other room with Ken. A woman in a very formal suit was with Kokoa, and they seemed very interested in pictures on her phone. Ken shook his head as he gathered up Archimedes.

“Ladies,” Ikki began, and they looked up at him. He took off his glasses and gave the new woman his best smile. “I don’t suppose I could see, too? I’m curious. After all, if you’re making Ken jealous, it must be something pretty special.”

“Ikkyu, I am not jealous.”

Kokoa laughed. “He shouldn’t be. I was just looking at signed promo photos from a play I liked watching. It had such a tragic ending, and I still hope someday he remembers her and they meet again and be a family with his sister and her altogether, even if he did have some scary possessive moments. It’ s not the same as what I want in real life. That’s you, Kent.”

Watching Ken blush over that was definitely worth it.

Ikki stepped closer to their guest. “Hmm. I suppose he’s not bad, but I think I’m better. What do you think, Ken?”

“Your hair is not of excessive length. You have that in your favor.”

“Thank you. Such high praise.”

“Of course you are not more attractive than Zen. No one is more attractive than...” Her words stopped as she looked up at Ikki. He knew that reaction well by now. “Do you believe in love at first sight?”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kent, Ikki, and Kokoa join the RFA. Chaos begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is where the group chats and pictures start. I did consider doing full pictures for the group chats, but I don't know that I'm patient enough for that. This is what I managed instead.

* * *

  _Zen: Yet again, I am blessed by the gods._

_Jumin Han: And I should have stayed at the office._

_Zen: You’re on your phone anyway._

_Jumin Han: Yes. I was expecting someone._

_Zen: Expecting someone?_

_Jumin Han: Yes. They should be present any moment._

_Yoosung: I’m here, but… I didn’t think you were expecting me._

_Jumin Han: I am not._

_Jumin Han: That is not to say that you are unwelcome. You are simply not the person I was expecting._

_Zen: I thought you stopped talking so much like a robot._

_Kent: I detect nothing unusual in Mr. Han’s speech patterns. They seem perfectly reasonable to me, though I will admit that this is not my first language and therefore may fail to grasp some nuances of the words._

_Yoosung: What? Another robot?_

_Kent: There is nothing robotic about my speech, either._

_Zen: More importantly, who are you?_

_Jaehee Kang: Kent works for Mr. Han in the research and development department. Currently he heads several projects. Mr. Han thought he would be a valuable addition to the RFA._

_Zen: I thought V had to approve all new members of the RFA._

_V: I did._

_Zen: You did??? When was this???_

_V: I met Kent and his team before, when I was in Japan for that gallery opening. They knew a photographer whose work was also being showcased there. He frequented the cafe where they all worked._

_Zen: And you’re just letting them join now?_

_Jumin Han: V’s recommendation of Kent when I wished to hire someone to do research into my special projects has been invaluable. I have not found a more talented or capable researcher in all those employed by my father’s company. We only recently discussed opening the foundation to Kent and his colleagues._

_Zen: Colleagues?_

_Heroine: I think someone altered my username. I know that’s not what I put in for it, and I’d say it was a joke, but you wouldn’t make one like that, Kent._

_Kent: I’d suspect Ikkyu if mine had been altered, but yours?_

_707: She’s totally cute. Like the heroine of a manga. It fits._

_Heroine: What?_

_Kent: I do not know you or how you would know that, but if you have somehow compromised Kokoa’s privacy, there will be consequences._

_707: I totally did not hack her._

_Yoosung: He did._

_Zen: He did._

_Jaehee: He most assuredly did hack her._

_707: What? I’m innocent, I’ll have you know. Innocent._

_Kent: Clearly that word does not mean what you think it means._

_Math is Super Sexy: Excellent use of the quote, Ken. I see not all my efforts to expose you to pop culture have been in vain._

_Kent: Ikkyu, if you picked that as your screenname, I think I may have to fire you._

_Jaehee Kang: Mr. Ikki? Is that really you?_

_Math is Super Sexy: It is. Hello again, Jaehee._

_Jaehee Kang: I think this must be verified. Please send a video._

_Zen: What? A video?_

_Jaehee Kang: A picture does not do justice to the beauty that is Mr. Ikki or his eyes. He is the most beautiful man on the planet._

_Zen: WHAT?_

_Jaehee Kang: Please, Mr. Ikki. Send a video._

_Zen: WHAT??? Jaehee, you said that about me, remember? I’m the most beautiful man on the planet. I can sing and dance and… what can he even do?_

_Jaehee Kang: He doesn’t have to do anything. He’s Mr. Ikki._

_Math is Super Sexy: Actually, I have two degrees, one in economics and the other in accounting, and I hold the second place record for being able to solve a certain mathematics formula that’s supposedly unsolvable. My time was okay. Ken’s was better._

_Jaehee Kang: He’s smart and beautiful._

_Math is Super Sexy: And good with my hands. ;) ;)_

_Kent: Ikkyu._

_Math is Super Sexy: What? It’s true. You know it is. With my hands and your strategy, we are unbeatable at air hockey and a few other games._

_Yoosung: Like LOLOL?_

_Math is Super Sexy: Haven’t played that in a while._

_Yoosung: You really play? I’m not alone? This is the best day ever… well, at least since our last new member joined. And now we have three more. So awesome._

_Zen: This is a joke, right? This is… April Fool’s again or something._

_Jumin Han: You only wish it was._

_707: Man, Jaehee was not kidding. Look at this gorgeous man._

__

_Zen: My eyes._

_Math is Super Sexy: Where the hell did you get that picture?_

_Kent: Ikkyu, I believe you should be worried about just what your fan club put online._

_Zen: You have a fan club???_

_Jaehee Kang: I wish to join._

_Zen: Jaehee! I’m so much better looking. Aren’t I? Aren’t I?_

_Heroine: Actually, I prefer Kent._

_MC: And I prefer Jumin._

_Zen: This is just a prank. Just a prank…_

_707: This guy’s got cats! Look at him. So jelly._

__

_Zen: No! No cats! AHHHH!_


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group chat continues. Little is accomplished.

* * *

 

_Yoosung: This does mean we get to have another party, right? We have more members now, so we can ask more people to come, so it’s a good thing, isn’t it?_

_Kent: I dislike social functions._

_Heroine: I think I’d like to go to a party with you, Kent._

_Kent: …_

_Math is Super Sexy: Speechless, Ken? The girl’s asking you out, so you could answer her._

_Kent: I cannot see why anyone would wish to spend time with me at a formal function. It would not be pleasant._

_Heroine: I enjoy any time I spend with you._

_Kent: …_

_Yoosung: Oh, so sweet! Is he blushing? I bet he’s blushing. That’s so adorable. I’m so jealous. I’m going to be a forever alone._

__

_Kent: I find that crying gif highly disturbing._

_Jumin Han: Zen’s is worse._

_Math is Super Sexy: I think I can believe it. I bet I’d be adorable as a chibi, though. What do you think, Kokoa?_

_Heroine: Of course, though I think Kent would be cuter._

_707: Agreed. The pout is totally adorable._

__

_Kent: What the hell is that?_

_Math is Super Sexy: It’s actually pretty accurate. Though someone else knows best, right?_

_Heroine: Ikki. Stop it. That’s private._

_707: I’m going to make you a blushing gif. You’d be adorable, too._

_Kent: I suggest you don’t._

_Math is Super Sexy: I don’t mind if you make one of me._

_Kent: Of course not, Ikkyu. You have no shame._

_Jaehee Kang: Make one. I need to save it to my computer. And if there are more pictures of Mr. Ikki, I would like them as well. Where do I join the fan club?_

_Yoosung: Have you noticed that Zen hasn’t said anything since that cat picture? Oh, Kent, is that really your cat? Both of them? They’re super cute._

_Kent: They are a part of our research, and when the project is concluded, they will live with my parents. All except Orion, which Kokoa insists on keeping, and Lovelace, who has been adopted by Ikkyu._

_Math is Super Sexy: Sadly, I can’t keep all of her kittens, though. My landlord won’t allow it._

_Yoosung: I should get a kitten._

_Jumin Han: I agree. Cats are the best companions. Elizabeth the third has been a source of great joy in my life._

_Kent: I did tell the others from Meido No Hitsuji about the kittens. I believe that Waka may be interested in acquiring one. Shin as well._

_Math is Super Sexy: Waka with a cat. Now that’s a memorable image._

_Yoosung: There’s still enough kittens for me to have one, right? Because they look adorable._

_Math is Super Sexy: Yes._

_Yoosung: Awesome. *happy dance*_

_Kent: Mr. Han, if you are still present, I did wish to discuss the other research with you as well._

_Jumin Han: I think we can all see the effect of Ikki’s eyes. Just look at Assistant Kang._

_Jaehee Kang: There is no shame in worshiping at the altar of Ikki._

_Zen: There are thousands of things wrong with that. And with cats. When did this organization become obsessed with cats? That’s just wrong._

_707: I made a picture of Ikki as a cat._

__

_Zen: …_

_Zen: I hate you all._


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another day, another unproductive chat. People continue to troll Zen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are a lot of pictures in this one. And adding them is a real pain at the moment, so I might stop here even though I have more to this crossover/chat.

* * *

_Yoosung: Morning, everyone. I cooked for myself again today. See?_

__

_Kent: I do not believe that qualifies as food._

_Math is Super Sexy: Yeah, and Ken would know. He’s a damned good cook._

_Yoosung: You cook, too, Kent? Can we see something you’ve made?_

_Zen: Why are you asking for pictures of food that he made?_

_Math is Super Sexy: Got you covered, Yoosung._ _Ken made this for his lady. Well, he also made it others like it for the cafe, since it was on the menu, but this one was for her. Look at him blushing._

__

_Kent: …_

_Yoosung: Wow, Kent. that’s amazing. Did you want to help cater the next party? I bet you’d be really good at it. You must be super talented._

_MC: Jumin makes good strawberry pancakes._

_Jumin Han: Thank you. I do enjoy cooking for you._

_Kent: Ikkyu, when and where did you take that photograph? I do not remember you being present when I gave that to her. And if you were… Why?_

_Math is Super Sexy: You gave it to her at work, remember? And we all worked at the same cafe. I was outside trying to deal with my fan club, and there you were being all sorts of relationship goals. It warmed my heart._

_Kent: This is why people assume things about our friendship that are not true._

_Math is Super Sexy: People are going to assume what they want to assume. There’s not much anyone can do about that._

_Yoosung: Ooh, so wise, Ikki. People do. Like when I had a female avatar in LOLOL and people thought I was a girl and stuff, and even though I told them I wasn’t, they didn’t stop until I changed to a guy. And when we had a girl in our guild, no one thought she was real._

_Kent: Her character was male, wasn’t it?_

_Yoosung: You are so smart. How did you know???_

_Kent: It was an obvious conclusion to draw._

_Yoosung: So… speaking of LOLOL, when are you two going to be online next? We should totally make a party together._

_Math is Super Sexy: Um… I neglected to mention that the reason it’s been a long time since I played is because Ken got us banned from the game._

_707: You got banned?_

_Zen: Great. If it’s not cats, it’s a dumb video game._

_707: Tell me all about it. I want to know._

_Yoosung: It’s not a dumb game, but… how did you get banned?_

_707: Give me juicy details. I’m begging you._

_Kent: There is nothing so great to tell. Their algorithm for calculating the dice role in their turned based portion was flawed, and they objected when I pointed it out to them._

_Yoosung: What? Really?_

_707: Hold on. Checking._

_Math is Super Sexy: I already did. Ken’s right. It’s a flawed formula. If it was truly based on a twenty-sided die like the original Dungeons and Dragons game and all the pen and paper RPGs like it, then it would be different._

_707: Holy hell. You’re right. It is wrong. How did I not notice this before?_

_Zen: Because you hacked the game to play it?_

_707: I am so good I do not need to hack._

_Kent: Actually, in a turn based game dependent on a dice roll, there is little skill involved, and it is all about luck. So if you really are good, you are simply benefiting from a flawed RNG._

_Zen: RN what?_

_Heroine: Random number generator._

_Yoosung: You know what RNG is? Are you a goddess of games, too?_

_Heroine: Lol, no, but I couldn’t spend all this time with Kent and *not* learn about math. And a lot of other subjects, too. Kent knows a lot about a variety of things, but he does prefer math. He’s so cute when he and Ikki have math duels._

_Kent: …_

_Kent: … cute?_

_Math is Super Sexy: I believe I prefer to think of myself as dangerous and sexy._

_Jaehee Kang: I can attest to the sexiness of Mr. Ikki. I have yet to experience any danger, though._

_Zen: He is so not sexy. I am sexy. You saw me as Zorro, didn’t you?_

__

_707: Yes, but I think he’s got you beat without a mask._

__

_Zen: …_

_Math is Super Sexy: Seven, where are you getting these pictures?_

_Kent: I almost think we should be afraid to know, Ikkyu._

_Math is Super Sexy: Yes._

_Math is Super Sexy: And no. I need to know._

_Jaehee Kang: I believe he must have gained access to your fan club’s archives. Though I could not find any pictures like that when I was browsing them._

_Zen: …_

_707: I am a master of the internet. I cannot divulge my secrets._

_Zen: You’re not a master of anything. I bet that is photoshopped._

_Math is Super Sexy: I admit I don’t remember who took that, but I don’t need photoshop, unlike some people in this room._

_Jaehee Kang: Definitely not photoshopped._

_Jaehee Kang; Saved for later._

_707: I can do even better than that._

_Math is Super Sexy: Uh, no. Quit showing everyone pictures of me without a shirt. I mean it. If you were a lovely lady, it would be different, but you’re not._

_707: What about this?_

__

_Kent: Crossdressing does not count._

_Jumin Han: Exactly._

_Math is Super Sexy: Seriously, you are creeping me out a little. Ken, do you think it’s possible that my eyes…_

_Math is Super Sexy: I don’t even want to finish that thought._

_707: Tada!_

__

_707: Even better, right?_

_Kent: Where the hell did you get that?_


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kokoa can explain the picture, but Kent's still bothered by it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, I had these as two separate sections, one group chat, one not, but I figured they kind of fit, so I went ahead and posted them together.
> 
> I thought there were more pictures in this part, but that's the next one, I think.

* * *

_Heroine: I think it’s my fault, Kent. He must have found it when he hacked me._

_Kent: What?_

_Math is Super Sexy: You have naughty pictures of Ken? What, on your phone? For shame. I thought you were such a good girl._

_Heroine: Ikki…_

_Kent: I do not remember you having occasion to take that photo, either._

_Heroine: Er… um…_

_Kent: ?_

_Heroine: I didn’t. You were fumbling for your glasses when you first woke up and hit the camera button on your phone and sent that to me by accident._

_Kent: Oh. That would explain a few things._

_Zen: No one sends pictures like that by accident._

_Math is Super Sexy: Actually, I can believe Kent did._

_Yoosung: You can? Because even I know that Zen doesn’t send them by accident._

_Math is Super Sexy: Hey, I sleepwalk, so I know that stuff goes down that you don’t remember, but we’re talking about Ken here. He had a hard time convincing himself he had a right to ask to hold hands. He’s not going to give out sexy photos that easily, and he’d be too embarrassed to pose for one._

_Kent: …_

_Kent: Ikkyu, I do not know that I should thank you for that, though… part of it is accurate._

_Jumin Han: All men should respect women._

_Zen: You can say that with your father?_

_Jumin Han: While my father’s emotional shortcomings are well-documented, he has never caused any physical harm to those women or taken what they are not willing to give._

_Jumin Han: Or at least trade for his money._

_Jumin Han: I do not wish to discuss my father._

_Math is Super Sexy: Since the last thing Ken does at night is send his lady some kind of goodnight message, it makes sense that app was open, and these days they make it pretty easy to add a picture. Mystery solved._

_Kent: Yes._

_Math is Super Sexy: Though it is kind of telling that someone saved that picture. When are you two tying the knot, anyway? I think someone’s ready for that wedding night._

_Heroine: Ikki._

_Jumin Han: I see no reason why you should delay your wedding. I had no desire to do that myself. I could not wait to take that step._

_Kent: I do not care to discuss this in chat. That’s private._

Kent has left the chatroom.

_Heroine: I need to go, too._

Heroine has left the chatroom.

_Math is Super Sexy: Oh, those two. So shy. It’s adorable. I am so jealous._

_Jaehee Kang: I would like to make you just as happy, Mr. Ikki._

_Zen: Jaehee._

_Math is Super Sexy: Thank you, Jaehee, though I do know you’re only saying that because of my eyes, I appreciate it all the same. You’re a smart, sexy woman, and any man would be lucky to have you. Which is why Zen really is an idiot._

_Zen: What?_

_707: Lol._

_Yoosung; Yeah, really. LOL._

_Zen: Stop that. I don’t even know why you’re laughing._

_Jumin Han: You are an idiot, as Ikki says. Assistant Kang was pretty much yours for the taking until she met Ikki. You are the only one who did not see it, and now you’ve lost her._

_Jumin Han: I admit I may have wanted that when I sent her to help Kent._

_Jumin Han: I am tempted to smile now._

_Zen: …_

_707: Remind me not to get on Jumin’s bad side._

_Yoosung: You already are on his bad side because of what you did to Elizabeth._

_707: Right. That._

_707: I was just trying to give her some love._

_Jumin Han: Assistant Kang?_

_Jaehee Kang: Yes?_

_Jumin Han: See if there is room in the operational budget to give Kent a raise._

_Jaehee Kang: A raise?_

_Jumin Han: Elizabeth did seem to enjoy the wine sample._

_Math is Super Sexy: It is tasty wine. I can vouch for that._

_Zen: He drinks wine made for cats?_

_Math is Super Sexy: Better than cheap beer._

_Jumin Han: Very much so._

_Jumin Han: And if it is money preventing them from being as happy as my beloved and I are, I would like to do something about that, as Kent has done what he was hired to do. It is only sensible to reward efficiency._

_Jaehee Kang: Mr. Han…_

_Jumin Han: I did give you a vacation and a raise not long ago._

_Jaehee Kang: Yes. You did. If only I had known Mr. Ikki then. I know where I would have spent my time instead._

_Math is Super Sexy: I’m flattered._

_Zen: …_

_Jumin Han: While I do find it amusing to see Zen in this state, perhaps Kent should focus his research on the problem of your eyes. I was thinking it may be of some use to V as well._

_Math is Super Sexy: I’d appreciate that, Mr. Han._

_Zen: …_

_Zen: Me, too._

_Jumin Han: Then I take it back._

* * *

“I love you, you know. Not just a part of you, but all of you. Your mind and your personality… and your body,” Kokoa whispered, feeling herself flush as she did. She knew she wasn’t lying, but it was hard to admit it all the same, even if it was not a secret. That picture getting out made it so everyone knew just how much she appreciated the way Kent looked. “All of you.”

Kent took off his glasses, cleaning them on his shirt. “It would be hypocritical of me to pretend I have no interest in your body, either. I… I do find you attractive. That was never an issue.”

She sat down next to him. “And I know Ikki likes to tease. He’s so playful because he’s so desperate to hide the pain… We’re both pretty bad at letting him get to us one way or another. I don’t mean to, but he can embarrass me when it comes to you because I do love you so much. We’re both stubborn, private people. We don’t always express ourselves well. That doesn’t mean I don’t love you. And… when we get married, that’s our decision, no one else’s.”

Kent looked over at her, frowning. “I… When? Not… if?”

“You told me you’d propose someday,” she reminded him. “That day in the park, you made my heart race by that declaration. You… I couldn’t even tell you then how much I wanted that.”

“Oh.”

She saw the red on his face and smiled, leaning against him. “I can’t imagine anything that would make me happier than being with you forever. After becoming your research assistant for this project, I’m sure of that. I like working with you even when we disagree. We… well… we’re both so slow to try and makeup, and when Ikki teases us then, he’s right about us, but… when we do make up… it’s so good to be back how we were again. And I’m sorry my pride still gets the better of me sometimes and I have to do things my way even if it’s not as logical and practical as yours.”

He reached over and touched her cheek. “You are… quite stubborn, that is true, but you would not be the woman I love if you were not.”

She smiled again, always pleased to hear Kent say he loved her. She also liked feeling his touch.

“I have been doing some thinking on that subject.”

She frowned, too embarrassed now to admit she didn’t know which subject he meant. “And?”

“In light of the new lack of privacy that comes with being a part of the RFA and since Ikkyu has been worse with the teasing of late...”

“You think we should leave the RFA?”

“No. I have concluded that we should elope.”

She laughed.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After having their talk, they rejoin the chat room. Once again, it is not productive, though it tried to be at first.

* * *

Kent has entered the chatroom.

Heroine has entered the chatroom.

_Kent: It would seem we are alone. This… is quite foolish._

_Heroine: It is a little strange texting you in chat when I’m sitting right next to you._

_Heroine: Someone might come in soon._

_Kent: If they do not, we can always leave. There is more work to be done, after all. We have a lot to do. After all, we were only able to make a light white wine. There is need to explore red wine and other variants as well._

_Heroine: Does this mean we get to make some champagne?_

_Kent: …_

Yoosung has entered the chatroom.

_Yoosung; You’re back._

_Yoosung: Yay!_

_Kent: Yay?_

_Yoosung: Of course yay. We’re super excited to start doing parties again._

_Kent: ..._

_Yoosung: When Rika left, we all felt it and were kind of lost. We had a new member bring us back again, but now there are even more members. We can have even more parties. It will be good._

_Kent: Exactly what happens at these parties?_

_Yoosung: People meet._

_Yoosung: Charities get funding._

_Yoosung: People buy V’s photos._

_Heroine: We should invite Waka. I’m sure he’d love a chance at beautiful photographs after how much he liked Ukyo’s._

_Kent: Agreed, he’d like the photographs._

_Kent:…Though I would rather not discuss Ukyo._

_Yoosung: Who is Ukyo?_

_Heroine: Um…_

Math is Super Sexy has entered the chatroom.

_Math is Super Sexy: Hey. I tried calling the lab. No one answered. You two okay?_

_Kent: Yes._

_Heroine: Very._

_Kent: Very? Is that a typo because you are snuggled so close against me?_

_Heroine: No, it’s not. I said very because I’m very happy right now._

_Yoosung: You two are so cute._

_Math is Super Sexy: Agreed. Adorable._

Zen has entered the chatroom.

_Zen: This better not be about a cat._

_Math is Super Sexy: Nope, just my favorite couple. Since I’m in between relationships at the moment, I have to root for someone, and who better than my best friend and archrival?_

_Yoosung: You’re friends, right?_

_Yoosung: Why archrival?_

_Kent: Because Ikkyu cries when he loses to math puzzles._

_Math is Super Sexy: I do not. Take back that vicious lie._

_Zen: Hey, I like this conversation._

_Yoosung: That’s just because Jumin isn’t here._

_Yoosung: Or Jaehee._

_Yoosung; You think she’d think those tears were sexy, too?_

_Yoosung: I can cry on command. Just watch._

_Kent: I would advise against that._

_Heroine: While I think women appreciate a man who can express his feelings and be sensitive to ours, that doesn’t mean crying on command. Though even I can admit that Ikki is cute when he pouts._

_Kent: What?_

_Heroine: Not as cute as you right now._

_Kent: …_

_Math is Super Sexy: Has she got you speechless again?_

_Kent: ..._

_Math is Super Sexy: No response? Really?_

707 has entered the chatroom.

_Yoosung: I bet he’s blushing again._

_707: I can check and see. There should be cameras in the lab or I can hack their phones._

_Heroine: Not Kent’s. It broke when I kissed him._

_707: Wow._

_707: Bring on the fans. Someone needs to cool down that room._

Jaehee Kang has entered the chatroom.

_Jaehee Kang: Perhaps this was a mistake._

_Heroine: We need to go to the store now._

_Heroine: Oh, but Kent did want to share this._

__

_Math is Super Sexy: HEY! Ken! Delete that now._

_Zen: …_

_Zen: You’re showing off your chest. Again._

_Heroine: Kent says that’s because Ikki has no shame._

_Math is Super Sexy: My shirt was unbuttoned a little. No shame in that._

_Yoosung: Zen has no shame._

_Zen: What?_

_Yoosung: Like you haven’t shown off yours a thousand times before._

_Math is Super Sexy: Still, Ken. That was low. We agreed you weren’t going to tell anyone about… that. And here you go posting pictures._

_Heroine: Kent says you deserve no less after all the teasing. And since I really don’t want to be in the middle of this, we are leaving to take care of Kent’s phone. Now._

Heroine has left the chatroom.

_Math is Super Sexy: Sneaky bastard._

_Yoosung: The archrival thing almost makes sense now._

_Jaehee Kang: I do hope I am not drooling._

_Zen: What?_

_Math is Super Sexy: What?_

_Jaehee Kang: Somehow those glasses only add to your appeal, Mr. Ikki._

_Zen: …_

_Zen: Not again._

_Math is Super Sexy: You actually like my reading glasses, Jaehee?_

_Jaehee Kang: Yes. They show off your intellectual beauty._

_Zen: Glasses don’t make people smart._

_Zen: I’ve worn glasses for roles before._

_Zen: It was just pretense._

_Math is Super Sexy: Maybe for you, but I have two degrees, remember? None of that is fake._

_Jaehee: Mr. Ikki’s brain is just as sexy as the rest of him._

_Zen: …_

Zen has left the chatroom.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She got asked to ask, but she doesn't want to ask... and it gets complicated and no one stays on topic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind of figured, knowing how Sawa and Mine can be in the game, that this might happen.

* * *

_Heroine: So I don’t even know how to ask this, and I don’t actually want to, but the only way I could end the conversation was promising to ask, so I have to ask…_

_Jumin Han: ?_

_Jaehee Kang: What do you need to ask? If you have further questions about the organization, I may be able to help._

_MC: That’s right. She was a great help to me when I first joined._

_Jaehee Kang: Thank you. I am glad I was able to be of assistance._

_707: What did you want to ask? I’m dying to know._

_Jumin Han: Do not exaggerate._

_707: I’m not._

_707: The suspense…_

_707: ...is killer._

_Kent: In some respects, I think I regret replacing my phone._

_Jaehee Kang: Were it not for the presence of Mr. Ikki, I would say I agree._

_Jaehee Kang: Sometimes I wish I did not have a phone._

_Jumin Han: If you were to lose your phone, you would be unable to perform your job as my assistant, and I would be forced to let you go._

_Jaehee Kang: Which is why I still have a phone._

_Jaehee Kang: That and to save pictures of Mr. Ikki._

_Zen: Seriously?_

_Zen: What happened to all of your pictures of me?_

_Jaehee Kang: I put most of my memorabilia for sale online._

_Zen: WHAT?_

_Jaehee Kang: It will be a nice bonus for my next vacation._

_Jaehee Kang: Mr. Ikki, where do you want to go on vacation?_

_Math is Super Sexy: Um…_

_Math is Super Sexy: Let me get back to you on that one._

_Zen: Why is this happening? How is this happening?_

_Kent: It is odd, actually._

_Zen: What?_

_Yoosung: Didn’t you say before that you were researching?_

_707: Yup._

_707: And Jumin sent Jaehee to help Kent so she’d fall under the spell of his eyes._

_Yoosung: So Kent knew all about it, right?_

_Yoosung: Why are you surprised?_

_Heroine: The effect of Ikki’s eyes isn’t that powerful._

_Kent: Agreed. Once out of direct line of sight of his eyes, the effect lessens and even fades completely for some women._

_Kent: That said, his fan club remains obsessed with him._

_Jaehee Kang: That seems reasonable. Mr. Ikki is quite worthy of obsession._

_Math is Super Sexy: Thank you. Again, I’m flattered._

_Math is Super Sexy: Though Ken has a point. The effect should have faded a bit by now._

_Math is Super Sexy: Wait a minute…_

_Math is Super Sexy: Does that mean…_

_Math is Super Sexy: No, it can’t._

_Kent: It may bear further study._

_Jumin Han: That seems reasonable._

_707: Wait! Go back to what Kokoa wanted to ask._

_707: I need to know!_

_Yoosung: I’m curious, too. What did you need to ask?_

_Heroine: Let’s forget it._

_Kent: I think overall that would be preferable, since this does not need to turn into a chatroom full of idiots._

_Heroine: …_

_707: You’re not saying we’re stupid, are you?_

_Math is Super Sexy: Compared to Ken, most people are, but I think you’re going a bit too far there._

_Jumin Han: I do not think Kent would say such a thing in chat. He has never been anything but respectful towards me. He still calls me Mr. Han despite this chatroom._

_Heroine: Kent, my friends are not stupid._

_Kent: I taught them math. I have to disagree._

_Zen: You never taught anyone in this chatroom._

_Yoosung: I’m confused._

_707: Super genius._

_707: Didn’t need you to teach me math._

_Math is Super Sexy: Are we talking about Sawa and Mine here?_

_Heroine: Yes._

_Kent: Yes._

_Math is Super Sexy: Okay. That makes a lot more sense._

_Math is Super Sexy: And it’s not the first time Ken has called them idiots._

_Heroine. I. KNOW._

_707: Someone’s mad._

_707: Quick, Kent, kiss her. She won’t be so angry._

_Kent: …_

_Yoosung: Wow, is he really going to do it?_

_707: I should hack their phones._

_Jumin Han: Do not do that._

_Jaehee Kang: Agreed. That is a violation of privacy._

_Math is Super Sexy: That goes beyond your normal level of invasive and is a bit perverted._

_Math is Super Sexy: And Ken won’t forgive you._

_Math is Super Sexy: Trust me._

_Math is Super Sexy: Him posting a picture of my reading glasses is tame compared to what he’d do if you did anything to upset Kokoa._

_Math is Super Sexy: It would be an intellectual revenge, don’t think it wouldn’t be._

_Math is Super Sexy: That just makes it more dangerous, though._

_707: I’m scared._

_707: Save me._

_Jumin Han: Can we go back to the question Kokoa was asking?_

_Jaehee Kang: That might help._

_MC: Or if we really want to go off topic, can we talk about what Seven did to my username?_

_MC: Why am I ‘MC’ instead of my name?_

_707: You organize the party._

_Yoosung: So?_

_Jumin Han: Agreed. I fail to see the connection._

_707: She’s the emcee. Get it?_

_Jumin Han: …_

_MC: …_

_Math is Super Sexy: …_

_Yoosung: …_

_Jaehee Kang: …_

_Zen: …_

_707: Geez. Tough room._

_707: So… um… about that question._

_Heroine: I don’t even want to ask now._

_Kent: You need not hold back because of what I said._

_Heroine: I am not talking to you._

_Kent: Technically, you just did._

_Math is Super Sexy: Okay, before this gets ugly, let me take a wild guess at what happened._

_Math is Super Sexy: You two ran into Sawa and Mine, who found out somehow about the chatroom and that there are a number of attractive men in it, and they wanted to join?_

_Heroine: *sigh*_

_Heroine: Yes._

_Kent: I do not feel it wise. The conversations will not be productive, as they will further this debate of who is better looking between Ikkyu and Zen._

_Math is Super Sexy: Are you kidding?_

_Math is Super Sexy: I already won._

_Jaehee Kang: I hesitate to agree because I do not want to encourage something that would be counterproductive._

_Yoosung: Please? Please let them join? Please! This is so a sausage fest without them._

_Kent: Do not ever use that term again._

_Jumin Han: Seconded. ^^_

_707: New members need V’s approval._

_707: Though…_

_707: I’ve seen pictures._

_707: They’re cute._

_707: I want to invite them._

_Kent: …_

_Zen: Maybe they will appreciate my beauty over Ikki’s._

_Kent: Don’t bet on it._

_Math is Super Sexy: Mine’s already a member of my fan club._

_Zen: What???_

_Jumin Han: It is up to V._

_Jumin Han: Do they know anyone they can invite to the party?_

_Jumin Han: Most of us have do contribute some form of networking to the party._

_Jumin Han: If they can’t, then they definitely should not join._

_Heroine: I’ll let them know._

_Heroine: I’m still mad at you, Kent._

Heroine has left the chatroom.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kent is very Kent though the group chat has advice for him.

* * *

_Kent: I have created a theory that could be a possible explanation for the symptoms Ms. Kang is experiencing and their sustained effect._

_Kent: However, it will be difficult to prove or disprove._

_Kent: I would not mention it at all except it may be relevant._

_Math is Super Sexy: You are a mess. Apologize to her, bake her a cake, and stop trying to work because it’s not going to happen._

_Kent: …_

_Kent: I cannot give her a cake for every time we quarrel. If that is all I ever use as an apology, it would lose its effectiveness._

_Kent: And I have records of the assignments that those two did in class._

_Kent: They failed every single one._

_Kent: My statement was not erroneous._

_Math is Super Sexy: Ken, stop being so stubborn, go apologize, and this time kiss her. Don’t let her go. You love her too much for that._

_Kent: …_

_Yoosung: We’ve all seen how much you love her._

_Yoosung: I’ve never had a girlfriend before, but I know this much._

_Zen: You shouldn’t call her friends idiots._

_Yoosung: Um, that, too._

_Kent: I did not come here for dating advice._

_Kent: And none of you are in a relationship, so you need not lecture me._

_Kent: I have research to do._

_Math is Super Sexy: Ken, the research can wait._

_Math is Super Sexy: This is more important and you know it._

_Kent: You do not understand. Apologizing would be lying. I have not changed my opinion of their intelligence. To say otherwise would be disingenuous, and I will not lie to her. So I cannot apologize. Now leave me to my research._

Kent has left the chatroom.

_Math is Super Sexy: Damn it._

_Math is Super Sexy: Though…_

_Math is Super Sexy: He’s not completely wrong._

_Zen: Seriously?_

_Zen: You’re just defending him because he’s your friend._

_Zen: You don’t actually treat women like that, do you?_

_Zen: How can you be so popular???_

_Zen: He’s in the wrong. He has to apologize._

_Jaehee Kang; I think what Mr. Ikki is actually saying is that Kent is correct in stating he would be lying to say he did not think that they acted without intelligence. However, that is not what the apology would even be about, so in that respect, he is still wrong._

_Yoosung: So he can still apologize?_

_Yoosung: Of course he can._

_Yoosung: He has to._

_Yoosung: Right?_

* * *

“I was going to talk, but at this point, I’m not sure we should.”

Kent didn’t look back at her. “Perhaps not. This does seem to be a situation where we have reached a sort of… impasse. I do not know how to fix it.”

“I can make it easy for you—apologize,” she said, coming around to face him. He shook his head, but she reached out to touch his face, holding it in her hands. “I am still _very_ angry, but I will admit that I was a bit… I was glad you weren’t willing to lie to me. That part of you I still love, but Kent… my friends are not stupid just because they are bad at math. Sawa and Mine have a lot of other good qualities, and no one is as smart as you. They just… aren’t. Even I’m not. If you’re going to hate them for it… I feel like you must do the same for me.”

He reached up to take her hands. “That is far from true. You may lack some skill, but you are willing to learn and apply yourself, and that I do admire about you.”

She almost smiled. “Thank you. You have come a long way from when you barely expressed any emotions at all, but sometimes you are still so blunt and insensitive… This isn’t even about my pride. You didn’t say it to Sawa or Mine, but what you said...”

“Unforgivable?”

“That depends on if you’re willing to see past their failings and admit that whatever their shortcomings in math, they are still good people. They’re not stupid. If you can see that, if you can apologize… then… yes. I’ll forgive you. I _want_ to forgive you. I don’t actually like fighting with you. Even when we were at our worst, I didn’t like that part. I… I was fascinated by you but also frustrated, and I am still attracted to you like I was then, but… it’s so hard not to be hurt when you’re blunt, even if I’m hurting for someone else.”

“I do not wish to hurt you. That much is true.”

“And I don’t want you to think that you have to change everything you are or be untrue to that, but you have to think a bit more before you say stuff like that. I’m not asking you to lie. You could have said you were afraid the chatroom would become nothing but silly gossip over who was hotter without calling my friends stupid.”

Kent sighed. “That is also true.”

“And you don’t have to bake me a cake every time we argue—not just because I’d get fat since we do have a lot of stupid arguments even now—but I do want to hear the words.”

He nodded. “Understandable.”

She grimaced. He had to do a bit of the bending here. She’d done more than enough already. He was the one in the wrong, but she’d still come to him and tried to work it out. He could at least _try_ to meet her halfway here.

“I did have a theory about Ikkyu’s eyes and their effect on Ms. Kang.”

“Kent—”

“And there was no one to discuss it with because you had left the lab and were mad at me. I know I could have said it to Ikkyu, but… I have grown accustomed to sharing my theories and ideas with you before anyone else. It was… unsettling to have that missing.”

She had to fight the smile on that. “Oh?”

He pulled her into his arms, surprising her. He leaned his head against hers as he held her. “I am not good with emotions. Or with people. The fact that you overlook that and are willing to show me such affection and consideration, that you… put up with me… it is invaluable. I do not ever wish to lose you. That… scares me. It is infinitely worse knowing that I myself may cause that because I frequently fail to be sensitive.”

“You can be plenty sensitive to me. You just need to work on being that way for others besides me and Ikki.”

“Yes, I know.”

She looked up at him. “Kent...”

“I _am_ sorry. For the insensitivity. I will endeavor to improve upon that, I promise.”

“Thank you.”

He cradled her close, and she closed her eyes in contentment. Kent could be very sweet, too, and this felt wonderful. She was glad they were able to talk through this, too.

“Incidentally, I did not bake you a cake this time.”

“I know.”

“It is a pie.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are back to what passes for normal in the chatroom.

* * *

  _Heroine: I am going to get so fat._

_Heroine: Or my boyfriend’s ability to bake will be the death of me._

__

_Math is Super Sexy: Ken made you another cake, then?_

_Heroine: Pie._

_Heroine: And it was divine because Kent is soooo good at baking._

_Yoosung: That looks delicious._

_Zen: That looks like cake, not pie._

_Heroine: It has layers, but it’s still a pie._

_707: What is the difference between cake and pie anyway?_

_707: Hold on, checking._

_Zen: No one cares, Seven._

_Kent: Cake is like a form of bread, a sponge. Pie is a pastry and has a crust._

_Zen: You would know that._

_Math is Super Sexy: Ken is one hell of a baker. The cafe was never more popular than when we were working there, and it wasn’t all because of my eyes. Shin and Ken made one hell of a menu._

_Jaehee Kang: Even I can admit that cake looks good._

_Jaehee Kang: Sadly, I had takeout again tonight._

_Yoosung: Kent should so make a cake for all of us._

_Yoosung: Or a pie._

_Yoosung: Or both._

_707: Both._

_707: And tiramisu._

_707: Pudding._

_Jaehee Kang: Stop listing off desserts, Seven._

_707: I’m not._

_707: I’m listing off the categories of Kent’s food pictures._

_707: Someone has an impressive collection of recipes._

_707: AND THEY ALL LOOK DELICIOUS_

_Zen: Dude, caps._

_707: Though the burning question now is not cake or pie._

_Jumin Han: It is obvious that they reconciled, Seven._

_Jumin Han: Do not ask them for details._

_Jaehee Kang: That is what I was going to say._

_Jaehee Kang: We can all tell they reconciled._

_Jaehee Kang: Pressing for more details is an invasion of privacy._

_Yoosung: Wait, is Seven trying to find out who took the picture?_

_Yoosung: Because it didn’t sound like it was Ikki._

_Yoosung: Can’t be a selfie._

_Yoosung: Was it… a girl?_

_Kent: That might have been preferable._

_Heroine: Kent. Ukyo didn’t mean any harm by it._

_Kent: He also didn’t ask for permission._

_Heroine: True. And I look awful because he caught that moment when you startled me and I ended up taking another bite._

_Heroine: *sigh*_

_Zen: He forced you to eat it?_

_Heroine: No._

_Kent: I said something which out of context sounded quite… inappropriate. I did apologize for that as well._

_Heroine: I didn’t mind._

_Heroine: It was just… not like you so it surprised me._

_Kent: ...you didn’t mind?_

_707: Wedding bells!_

_707: Confetti!_

_Yoosung: Maybe we should have a party and your wedding._

_Kent: No._

_Heroine: Kent is leaning towards eloping._

_Jumin Han: It is not an unsatisfying way to achieve that goal. In fact, it is quite nice._

_MC: Yes._

_707: Nooo!_

_707: Don’t cheat us of the celebration._

_Math is Super Sexy: They can always have a reception later. People do that._

_Math is Super Sexy: Not Ken, but some people._

_Kent: I have to admit, I have little desire to meet you in person, Seven._

_707: What?_

_Kent: Oh. I was too blunt again, wasn’t I?_

_Heroine: A little, yeah._

_Heroine: Though… you were honest._

_Math is Super Sexy: Lol_

_Yoosung: Lol_

_Jaehee Kang: I admit I find it somewhat amusing as well._

_707: Why does no one understand me?_

_707: Why does no one love me?_

_Kent: Because you are far too bizarre._

_Kent: Again, too blunt._

_Kent: I think I should not say anything._

_Math is Super Sexy: I don’t think you were the only one thinking it, though. I could even bet money on it._

_707: *cries*_

_Heroine: I am sure someone can appreciate your eccentricities, Seven._

_Kent: True. They may not be present in this room, but the odds are in your favor when you consider the overall population of the planet. It is so large a number it is likely someone might find this behavior of yours amusing._

_707: Thanks._

_707: I think._

_707: Oh, but the burning question, Kent._

_Kent: Everyone has already said that details of the reconciliation are private._

_707: By kiwi, did you mean the bird or the fruit?_


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kent manages to share his theory with the others in spite of Seven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we have the other reason that the story has its name.

* * *

_707: Bird or fruit?_

_707: This is a very important question._

_Yoosung: ?_

_Zen: What?_

_Jumin Han: Is that answer not in the book itself?_

_Jumin Han: I admit I did not recall all of the details, but I believe it was present. Perhaps in the introduction._

_Jumin Han: My copy is at home, so I do not have it to consult._

_MC: I can look for it if you like. I did see Elizabeth the 3 rd sitting on a book I did not recognize not that long ago._

_Heroine: Send pic?_

_Zen: Gah! No! No cats!_

_Math is Super Sexy: You’re the only one who doesn’t like cats. In this case, majority rules. Send the cat pic._

_Zen: That’s not true._

_Zen: Jaehee doesn’t like cats, either._

_Jaehee Kang: I have developed a new appreciation for cats after seeing Mr. Ikki with his cat Lovelace. There is true beauty in that relationship as well as in the man._

_Zen: WHAT?_

_Zen: Jaehee, what have they done to you???_

_Kent: About that. I did have a theory._

_Heroine: It’s possible, I guess, though without knowing what caused Ikki’s eyes to be like that in the first place, we can’t be sure._

_Math is Super Sexy: Spit it out, Ken. What’s going on? I need to know._

_Kent: …_

_Kent: You know I dislike sharing unproven theories._

_Zen: I don’t care._

_Zen: I want the old Jaehee back._

_Jumin Han: I see no reason why Assistant Kang should be forced to change if she does not want to. She is even more efficient now than before, and as an added bonus, I no longer catch glimpses of you when I see her screen._

_Zen: What?_

_Jaehee Kang: My desktop is currently a picture of Mr. Ikki cuddling Lovelace and her kittens. He is a beautiful cat dad._

_Jaehee Kang: I believe the same photo is trending._

_Jaehee Kang: And the video has gone viral._

_Zen: This can’t be happening._

_Zen: Kent, fix it._

_Math is Super Sexy: Ken’s not a god, you know._

_Math is Super Sexy: And don’t think he hasn’t tried._

_Math is Super Sexy: I was the one who gave up on the experiments before. I was so tired of being let down when it didn’t work._

_Math is Super Sexy: Ken was determined to help and had good ideas._

_Math is Super Sexy: I just couldn’t live like that anymore._

_Kent: I apologize again for the lack of results._

_Math is Super Sexy: You know I don’t blame you._

_707: Such a tender moment._

_Kent: You are not half so amusing as you think you are._

_Zen: Agreed._

_Jumin Han: All the same, perhaps you should share this theory of yours._

_Kent: Well… the main difference between any time Ikkyu’s eyes affected someone in the past and now is quite simple._

_Kent: Only one significant change has occurred since then._

_707: Him becoming a cat dad?_

_Kent: No._

_Jumin Han: Stop using that term._

_Math is Super Sexy: Ken… you don’t really mean it, do you?_

_Kent: Yes. I do._

_Kent: It may have been the wine._


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seven's question gets discussed...

* * *

 

_MC: I found the book._

__

_707: What?_

_707: That’s not fair. That’s not clear._

_Yoosung: Is it… meta?_

_Zen: This is ridiculous._

_Jumin Han: Hilarious, actually. Very nicely done, Kent._

_Kent: Thank you._

_Kent: Though I cannot take credit for the image._

_Kent: Part of the reason the book saw such a limited printing was that they failed to get permission for using the image first._

_Math is Super Sexy: It’s still an awesome book._

_Heroine: Though I still felt stupid the first time I read it._

_Kent: Oh._

_Heroine: I did say you were condescending when you talked about math, but that was because I felt stupid. You don’t actually talk down to people too much in that book._

_Math is Super Sexy: Even if the book is one giant insult._

_Jumin Han: Again, executed brilliantly._

_V: I could remake the cover for you if you wish. I have a beautiful photograph of a kiwi with a kiwi fruit._

_Heroine: Really? That would be wonderful._

_Heroine: Thank you, V. Kent would never have asked._

_Math is Super Sexy: He definitely didn’t want to ask Ukyo._

_Heroine: Kent’s too modest._

_Math is Super Sexy: Sure. And it has nothing to do with Ukyo winning awards for a picture he took of you._

_Heroine: …_

_Math is Super Sexy: That wistful smile you get when you’re thinking of Ken is pretty adorable, though._

_Kent: That is not her expression when she thinks of me._

_Math is Super Sexy: It is when you’re not around._

_Kent: …_

_Kent: Oh._

_Jumin Han: I would like to get back to the discussion on the wine._

_Jumin Han: If it is unsafe, I am concerned about Elizabeth the third._

_MC: She seems fine now. Very happy._

_Kent: If it is the wine, it is a combination of Ikkyu’s unique genetics and the wine’s special formula. No tests I did indicated that the wine was at all dangerous for cats even given their tendency toward kidney problems. It was designed to have as little impact on them as possible and cause no lasting damage even with high levels of consumption._

_Zen: But that guy still got drunk on it, right?_

_Kent: You’ve never heard of the placebo effect, have you?_

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

* * *

_Math is Super Sexy: I seem to remember someone made me food to sober me up that night._

_Math is Super Sexy: Why would you do that if I wasn’t actually drunk?_

_Kent: You were acting intoxicated. That was enough._

_Math is Super Sexy: I was not that far gone. I was lucid when we had that conversation._

_Kent: Ikkyu, you hugged me._

_Kent: You clearly thought you’d been drinking._

_Heroine: That’s true. Ikki does get very cuddly when he’s drunk._

_Jaehee Kang: I would like to experience this._

_Zen: If it was the wine, can you make her go back to normal?_

_Kent: Normal is only a term which can be applied in a field when there is an absolute and a standard by which to measure things. In terms of people, I do not believe that “normal” is even possible._

_Heroine: Well, there are social norms, right?_

_Heroine: Though those change a lot these days._

_Kent: Exactly._

_Kent: Though I am not excluding the idea of further research. It would be difficult to prove that it was the wine._

_Jaehee Kang: I hate to think of this all being an illusion._

_Jaehee Kang: Am I making a fool of myself?_

_Jumin Han: No more than you did when you spoke of Zen in the past._

_Jumin Han: Perhaps less._

_Math is Super Sexy: I don’t want it to be an illusion, either._

_Math is Super Sexy: My one wish in life now, aside from being able to keep Lovelace’s kittens, is to find someone who loves me in spite of the eyes, not because of them._

_Jaehee Kang: Then research is required._

_Jaehee Kang: I do not feel now like it is only the eyes that affect me, but I would like confirmation if possible._

_Jaehee Kang: And I think you would accept nothing less, Ikki._

_Math is Super Sexy: Very true._

_Math is Super Sexy: And don’t feel too bad if it’s not real. It happens a lot._

_Math is Super Sexy: At least now I have my cat family to love me._

__

_Zen: Now that *is* photoshopped._


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ikki has good news.

* * *

_Math is Super Sexy: I have the best news._

_Yoosung: Your eyes stopped working on people?_

_707: Is that even a good thing?_

_707: Imagine the ability to take over the world by your eyes._

_707: The women rule._

_707: The world is glorious._

_Yoosung: ?_

_Zen: How is that glorious?_

_Zen: And the women don’t rule if he’s controlling them._

_Math is Super Sexy: I don’t control women._

_Math is Super Sexy: I never force them to do anything they don’t want to do._

_Jaehee Kang: Speak as a woman affected by Ikki’s eyes, I can say that the desire to do stuff is present, but it does not have to be acted upon._

_MC: It’s not like a sex pollen._

_Jumin Han: I was not aware such a thing existed._

_Jumin Han: You did not tell me._

_MC: It’s fictional._

_MC: And we don’t need it._

_Zen: …_

_Yoosung: What is a sex pollen?_

_Zen: You are still too innocent for the world, Yoosung._

_Kent: A sex pollen is a fictional device that causes all characters to behave as though the only thing that matters is sex. It goes well beyond the effects of an aphrodisiac and makes them completely irrational. In some cases, if coitus is not achieved, they die. Those stories are also called by another term, one more vulgar that I have no desire to repeat._

_Zen: …_

_Zen: Kent…Why do you know about this?_

_Kent: I refuse to discuss that._

_707: Ah. We have a closet nerd._

_707: What fandom were you in?_

_Math is Super Sexy: Ken has never been shy about being a nerd. That would apply more to me._

_Math is Super Sexy: And I am so not ashamed to love math._

_Heroine: Just blame it on me._

_Kent: It was not your fault._

_Kent: The blame lies with Ikkyu’s fan club, and that is all that needs to be said about the matter._

_Math is Super Sexy: ANYWAY…_

_Math is Super Sexy: My good news is that thanks to that picture and video going viral, my landlord has been forced to agree to let me keep Lovelace’s kittens._

_Jumin Han: This is excellent news._

_Jumin Han: It would have been a shame to split the family._

_Yoosung: Yay!_

_Yoosung: Wait. This means I don’t get a kitten._

_Yoosung: But I’m still so happy you get to keep your kittens, Ikki._

_Jaehee Kang: Agreed. This is good news._

_Zen: …_

_707: Cat party!_

_707: We should celebrate._

_Yoosung: Yes!_

_707: Group outing._

_707: Fun times._

_707: Karaoke._

_Kent: What?_

_Math is Super Sexy: I do like me some karaoke._

_Kent: No._

_MC: Is Ikki not a good singer?_

_Heroine: No. Ikki’s not bad._

_Heroine: Kent’s just… very shy when it comes to singing._

_Kent: I am tone deaf. Do not sugar coat the issue._

_Jumin Han: I think if anyone here is tone deaf, it is Seven._

_Jumin Han: They say that there is a possible connection between language learning and musical ability. That those who can do one can generally do the other quite well._

_Jumin Han: You speak more than one language, don’t you, Kent?_

_Kent: Yes. Though that is partially a product of my education. It was illogical not to speak the dominant languages of the world, even if I will always be more comfortable in my native tongue. It is also a required course in many schools, including those I attended._

_Kent: I do not know why it is not a required standard for all schools around the world._

_707: Digital age, baby._

_707: Translation by computer is getting more and more accurate._

_Kent: And yet I suspect those programs could never hope to convey your true thoughts._

_707: Those are secret._

_Math is Super Sexy: Your normal speech would break most translation apps._

_Heroine: Agreed._

_707: What?_

_Heroine: I’m not as good with languages as Kent or Ikki, and I sometimes wonder if it’s just the language barrier, but every time I’ve asked, it just comes down to you being weird._

_Jumin Han: I am not surprised._

_Jaehee Kang: I do not believe any of us could be._

_707: No one loves me._

__

_Kent: Enough with the disturbing crying gifs._

_Yoosung: So… maybe not karaoke._

_Yoosung: But we can still celebrate, right?_

_Math is Super Sexy: Yes._

_Yoosung: Yay! Party!_

_Zen: Cannot believe we’re partying over cats._

_Math is Super Sexy: Who said we were inviting you?_


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A party venue is needed and discussed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This does include the overdue explanation of why they were all asked to join the RFA and what they can contribute to it.

* * *

_Jumin Han: We must consider some practical matters first._

_Jumin Han: Any decent party requires an appropriate venue._

_707: Not if it’s digital._

_Yoosung: What?_

_Yoosung: That’s not a party. It’s no fun unless we can actually meet up in person._

_Zen: Well, that’s not going to happen. They live in Japan._

_Kent: Actually, as my mother has finished preparing those legal documents that you need for incorporation in Japan, I believe you could combine the trip were you to make it, Mr. Han. That, and you will want to meet your new business partners in person._

_Zen: What? You’re going into business in Japan?_

_Jumin Han: We are mainly an export company._

_Jaehee Kang: Yet there are unexploited opportunities that we have elected to pursue, as well as preparing for a new marketing campaign and a series of outlet stores should the cat wine prove viable._

_Zen: What? This is about cat wine?_

_Zen: And since when is your mother a lawyer?_

_Kent: Since before I was born._

_Kent: Why is that even in question?_

_Heroine: You haven’t mentioned it before._

_Kent: Ah. Well, I suppose that might be a factor. Her connections are part of the reason why I was invited to join the RFA. Between my own contacts here and abroad in England, my mother is well known in legal circles and my father is also a distinguished mathematician and researcher._

_Zen: What?_

_707: Wow, Kent. Your mom is like… famous. They say she almost never loses a case._

_Zen: That doesn’t fit. He just said she made corporate documents for Jumin._

_Kent: My mother has altered her specialty due to her age and now takes on more civil cases than criminal. She is well versed in many aspects of the law._

_Jaehee Kang: Her skill is impressive._

_Kent: Perhaps._

_Zen: What, you don’t think it is?_

_Heroine: It’s not that. It’s that she’s Kent’s mom, so he’s always known her to be as she is. It seems exceptional to others because she’s new to us, but to Kent… that’s just how she is._

_Heroine: Same with his father._

_707: How did I not know that was your father?_

_707: I must humbly worship at the altar of his genius._

_707: That theorem…_

_Kent: That would be my grandfather._

_Kent: My father is less distinguished, but still quite brilliant._

_Kent: And stop saying such strange things._

_Yoosung: I don’t think Seven can help himself._

_Yoosung: Though he wouldn’t really worship your father. Or grandfather._

_Yoosung: Wow. Smart people run in your family, huh?_

_Kent: …_

_Kent: My parents do believe that our shared genetics are inclined towards greater mental potential, that is true._

_Zen: Well, fine. That explains why Kent’s here, but his girlfriend? And Ikki?_

_Math is Super Sexy: Aside from my fan club, I also have connections to a prestigious accounting firm and am the member of a competitive dart club and billiard club. We compete on national levels, have since I was in college._

_Zen: …_

_Heroine: I admit I don’t have as many connections as Kent or Ikki, but I did make a few when I was in London with Kent and… um…_

_Math is Super Sexy: Ukyo’s photo of her is famous, so she still gets offers to do modeling and other stuff from time to time._

_Zen: You do?_

_Heroine: I don’t want to be a model. I studied psychology, actually, and while I’m not practicing as a psychologist, in assisting Kent, I’m still studying behavior._

_Heroine: I’d rather be with Kent._

_Heroine: And the cats._

_MC: I completely understand. I have Jumin and Elizabeth the third. My life is complete._

_Zen: *gags*_

_Math is Super Sexy: I still say you’re not invited._

_Jaehee Kang: We have not selected an actual venue._

_Math is Super Sexy: I was going to suggest Meido No Hitsuji._

_Math is Super Sexy: Waka would give us a discount on the group rate, if we needed it, but it’s also a bit… like going home in a sense. Plus that way you could meet the others._

_Heroine: That’s true. Sawa and Mine would be there._

_Kent: I admit I would be almost willing to meet Seven in person if Waka were present._

_707: Really?_

_707: Excitement._

_Math is Super Sexy: LOL._

_Math is Super Sexy: Ken’s so smirking right now, isn’t he?_

_Heroine: He was._

_Math is Super Sexy: ?_

_Heroine: Until I kissed him._

_Math is Super Sexy: You kissed him?_

_Heroine: *is super weak to the smirk*_

_Heroine: Don’t do that again, Kent._

_Kent: I don’t even know what I did._

_Kent: … though I suppose I would not object if you repeated your earlier action._

_Zen: *sigh*_

_Zen: And I thought the trust fund jerk was bad._

_MC: I suppose we haven’t been as affectionate in chat as usual, have we?_

_Jumin Han: We can fix this._

_Jumin Han: For instance, I have been meaning to tell you that I find that new look of yours quite alluring. I am glad you cut your bangs to allow me to see your eyes more often._

_Jumin Han: And yet I do not wish them to look on others all the same._

_Jumin Han: Elizabeth the third is okay._

_Jumin Han: But not Zen._

_Zen: …_

_Yoosung: Aren’t you worried about what might happen if she meets Ikki?_

_MC: I’m not._

_MC: I will still love Jumin._

_MC: Even if there is a temporary chemical reaction, it does not change my heart._

_Heroine: My theory is that it’s partially about willpower, anyway._

_Heroine: Though as I’m immune, I can’t really test that theory. Kent and I have been trying to figure out ways to do that._

_Jaehee Kang: I volunteer._

_Jumin Han: Then it would seem we have three good reasons to go to Japan._

_Yoosung: A trip?_

_Yoosung: All of us on a trip?_

_Yoosung: ON A PRIVATE PLANE?_

_Jumin Han: Of course._

_Jumin Han: Well, except for Zen._


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The RFA travels by plane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my first time writing Jaehee, and it made me very nervous.

* * *

“I can’t believe that jerk. He’s making you work on vacation.”

Jaehee looked up from her papers and frowned. “Zen, this is a working vacation. That was agreed upon before we left for Japan. I knew that I would be working during the flight.”

“Yeah, _you_ are. You always are, but he’s not. He’s over there making googly faces at his wife. I swear, if Seven didn’t keep reminding them that we were also on this plane, they’d be going at it right now.”

Jaehee adjusted her glasses and sighed. “They are going over the photographs of Elizabeth the third for the wine label. V took several, and it is apparently quite difficult for them to pick a favorite.”

“He’s using that fur ball on the label?”

“I would have been partial to Mr. Ikki’s Lovelace myself, but as Elizabeth the third was the original inspiration for the wine, it does seem fitting she be on the label.” Jaehee flipped through her papers, trying not to get distracted by knowing that she would soon be seeing Ikki in person again. She was excited, but they still had a lot to do before they landed.

“This so wrong.”

“Come on, Zen!” Yoosung called from the other chair. “You should be enjoying the flight. Look, this seat leans back. It’s better than Seven’s gaming chair.”

Zen shook his head. “All you ever think about is games.”

“And girls,” Seven said. “Speaking of which, we get to meet some soon. Cute ones.”

Jaehee sighed. “I suppose I am not the least bit surprised that you looked up Kokoa’s friends.”

“They were on her facebook.”

“Which she has set to friends only and has not accepted your friend request,” Jaehee pointed out. Seven tried to smile at her, but she shook her head. He couldn’t play innocent with her. She knew better. She did wish she could be working in private. It was far too easy to get distracted.

“You don’t know that.”

“I do. She and I are mutual friends. She has also added Mr. Han and his wife and Yoosung.”

“You don’t know that she didn’t add me.”

“ _I_ didn’t add you, Luciel. And yet you are on my friends list despite having been removed several times.”

Zen frowned. “Okay, I get not adding Seven because he’s… Seven, but me? Why am I not getting the friends request? I know God made a mistake when he made me, but that’s no reason to exclude me.”

Jaehee had a feeling that was part of why Kokoa hadn’t included him. Ikki said she hadn’t made any secret of her dislike for his former dating habits or any signs of narcissism. She’d even been unsure why Kent was even friends with him at first, and it had taken a bit to get her to warm up to him.

“Well, we already know what side of the Ikki-Zen war she’s on,” Seven said. “Now, though, when they met in person, who will prevail? Will it still be Ikki? Will anyone else fall under the spell of his eyes? Will Elly finally become human and be mine?”

“Her name is Elizabeth the third.”

Jaehee almost laughed at that chorus of voices. Of course they would not fail to notice it.

“V, you’re a photographer. You understand beauty. Is this not it?”

“I am looking forward to time in Japan again,” V said, smiling. “There is so much beauty there.”

Zen frowned. “That’s not what I meant.”

Jaehee checked her watch. “How much longer before we land?”

“Not long.”

“Is there going to be a car to meet us?” Yoosung asked. “I’ve always wanted to have a car meet me at an airport or someone hold up those little signs. I’d feel so important.”

“It is nothing special.”

Mr. Han could say that because he had that happen all the time, but that was not true of the rest of them. Even Jaehee was not used to it even after working as his assistant for as long as she had.

Then again… If Mr. Ikki was the one holding the sign…

She could not wait for this plane to land.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ikki, Kent, and Kokoa wait to greet the others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just posted something terrible for the terrible AU, so... um... hopefully this lighter piece makes up for it a bit, though... maybe not, considering what part this is. Hmm...

* * *

“You look ridiculous, Ikkyu.”

Ikki grinned, tipping his new chauffeur’s cap to Ken, who sighed, shaking his head in exasperation. Ikki heard Kokoa giggle, and the frown then shifted to her. Naturally, it didn’t last long. Ken was such a sucker for her, not that Ikki blamed him. She was everything Ken needed, and their love was beautiful and genuine, mistakes and fights and all. Ikki remained jealous of it.

“Come on, Ken. You could enjoy it a little. This is the culmination of a lot of your work, right?”

“This started because you wanted to have a party because of your cats.”

“True, but you suggested the business trip, and since I was very obviously asleep when that picture of me and the kittens was taken, I still say it had to have been one of you who released it, got it viral, and saved my cat family.”

Ken pushed his glasses up his nose. “I do not enjoy when you are lonely and drunk, but aside from research, I have no interest in the internet, and this ‘viral’ nonsense reminds me rather of lemmings.”

Kokoa stared at him before starting to giggle again, making him frown.

Ikki eyed her. “Does this mean… he did it? He’s right in that it doesn’t seem like him.”

She blushed. “No, it’s not like Kent, and don’t start thinking I did it, either. It was probably Seven, actually, so… maybe you should be worried.”

Ikki grimaced. “That guy does worry me, actually.”

“I think it best not to discuss him, though I do want to see if he can sustain that sort of behavior in front of Waka.”

Kokoa shivered. “I doubt it.”

“Well, they do claim Seven is some kind of secret agent for a government agency.”

“That says much about the state of his country,” Ken observed, and Kokoa looked like she might giggle again. “I take it today is a day when my ‘deadpan’ look is affecting you irrationally?”

She nodded. “Yes. Though it also has to do with the suit you put on to meet Mr. Han. I think the only way you could look better is if you were dressed as a prince. Or at our wedding… Or if we went swimming again. Or if you were not dressed at all.”

“You are… extremely nervous right now, aren’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Kiss her,” Ikki advised. “That’ll fix everything. Just trust me on this.”

“This is a public venue and we should not be—Oof.”

Ikki saw Kokoa had taken matters into her own hands, yanking Ken down for a good, long kiss. Some passing by shook their heads, and others laughed. Ikki almost put his sign down to dig out his camera.

That would have been a mistake, since he saw a group headed their way that looked very familiar even if only from user pics. Well, one in particular he’d met before, and he had to give her his best smile as he held up the sign he’d made mostly for her sake.

 

Though he really hadn’t planned on her fainting.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They tend to Jaehee, and Zen attempts to settle the debate between him and Ikki once and for all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to post this sooner, but I was dealing with migraines and some bad times writing terrible AU and the arranged marriage au which is technically not an arranged marriage but a marriage of convenience and... anyway, this is overdue, and I'm sorry.

* * *

Jaehee went down, and everyone panicked, though Yoosung was the worst, looking around frantically, starting to run off and then stopping and not making it anywhere. Zen started for her, but Ikki pushed him out of the way and got to her first even though he’d been halfway across the airport.

“Jaehee?”

She opened her eyes. “Oh. Mr. Ikki. Am I dreaming?”

“No. You fainted at the airport. Please tell me you had more than a glass of milk to eat today.”

She shook her head. “No. I was too nervous.”

She started to sit up, and Ikki held her back. “No need to rush it.”

“I am fine. I was simply unprepared for the glory of seeing you in person again. It was… everything I imagined and more. You are wearing clothes, after all.”

Ikki laughed, brushing back her hair. “That’s sweet, but you’ve got me worried now, so let’s get you to the first aid center. Ken, you know where it is, right? I… Maybe it’s better if I don’t go with her. And… she may need a translator.”

“She does appear slightly delirious,” Kent agreed. “Come, Ms. Kang. Kokoa and I will see you to the first aid center. You need not protest. Everyone will feel better once a doctor has seen you. It is interesting there are no medical doctors in your group.”

“Still doctors, though,” Kokoa said, giving Kent a dazzling smile that made Zen a bit jealous.

Kent tugged at his collar. “Um… yes.”

“That was exciting,” Seven said, and Zen glared at him. That wasn’t exciting. It was upsetting. Not only had Jaehee fainted, she’d fainted over Ikki. Fainting over Zen might have been more tolerable, but not Ikki.

“I would hate to lose my assistant now,” Jumin said with a frown. “Ms. Kang has been invaluable, and now that she is no longer obsessed with Zen, she is even more necessary to our work.”

Zen shook his head. “This is ridiculous. You know what? I will settle this right here and now.”

Ikki frowned. “You can’t make Jaehee’s mind up for her.”

“Not that,” Zen said. He looked around and quickly spotted a professional looking woman standing nearby. He moved toward her, Ikki following after him. “Excuse me, ma’am, but I need you to settle a debate for us.”

“Very well,” she said with a pleasant smile. “What can I assist with?”

“Which of us is more attractive?” Zen asked, and she blinked in surprise. “Me or him. Just an honest first impression is fine.”

She frowned. “I am afraid the only man who has ever inspired any kind of romantic interest in me is my husband.”

Ikki started laughing, and Zen shook his head. “That doesn’t mean you win.”

“Oh, you have no idea—”

“It’s very nice that you are a loyal woman,” Zen said. “Very admirable, but I’m not asking you to do anything disrespectful towards your husband. All I want to know is who you think is the most handsome.”

“You wish to know who I feel is the most handsome?”

“Yes. Aside from your husband, of course.”

“I see. And I must pick from the men at this airport?”

Zen was starting to get frustrated, though Ikki still seemed to find this all hilarious. Seven was laughing, too, and he swore V was taking pictures. “Yes.”

“In that case, I would have to say my son.”

“What?”

“My son is the most attractive man at this airport right now,” she answered, still smiling in a way that Zen now found infuriating. “He does resemble his father, after all.”

Zen frowned. “If Ikki is your son, then I swear—”

“No, he is not my son,” she said. “Did you have any other questions you needed assistance with?”

Zen put a hand to his head. “You didn’t even answer the question I asked.”

“I did, though apparently not to your satisfaction. I will not change my answer. My son is the most handsome man in this airport right now, at least in my opinion, though I think his girlfriend would also agree with me. That is not to say that Ikkyu does not have his charms, but he is still not my son.”

Zen frowned. Wait a minute. Only one person he knew called Ikki “Ikkyu.”

“You can’t be.”

She frowned. “Can’t be what? I should tell you that, all bias of mothers aside, I do feel your question is rather troubling. You may wish to consult someone on this narcissism you are displaying. Other women might take more offense to being asked such a question, though as you said it was a debate and I am a lawyer, I thought you’d have a serious question.”

Damn it. No wonder Ikki was laughing. He’d known it was Kent’s mother the whole time.

Bastard.

“Mother, what are you doing?” Kent asked, and Zen almost jumped to realize that he was behind him. When had he gotten back?

“Ah, Kent. There you are,” she said, smiling at him. “These two asked me a very foolish question and were not satisfied with the answer.”

“Yes, that part I could have guessed, but I thought we agreed that Mr. Han would be meeting you at your office, not at the airport. Why are you here?”

“What reasonable person has any interest in spending extra time with lawyers?”

“…Right.”

“Besides, I was in time not only to see your lovely girl express her affection for you but also the effect of Ikkyu’s greeting. It was a most informative afternoon.”

Kent forced a smile. “Of course.”

She took him by the arm. “You won by mother’s bias, you should know.”

“What?”

“She named you the most attractive man in the airport.” Ikki said. “Hmm. Maybe I should write that on the back of this sign and make you carry it.”

“Don’t even think about it, Ikkyu. I only came back because there is an exit from the first aid center that is closer to where the transportation is parked and I think we may as well leave from there when they are finished looking over Ms. Kang.”

Jumin nodded. “Lead the way.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a bit of a problem with the transportation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Doing research on how many people can fit in a limo led to me finding this picture. Naturally, that meant fic.

* * *

“Okay, I think it will only take _one_ guess to say who arranged for this limo.”

Jaehee frowned as she looked around the interior, reluctant to take a seat even as she was guided to one by Kokoa. She was feeling much better now, though they’d said she might be anemic. “This is certainly not what I reserved. I know that. There was no such thing in any of the advertisements, and I know I would not have booked them if there were.”

“I think Yoosung meant Ikki,” Zen said, and a sign hit him in the back of the head. “Hey! Watch it. You could have done permanent damage.”

“To your pride, maybe,” Mr. Han said. “And even if it was your brain, I do not know that it would be much of a loss.”

Zen glared at him as his wife pulled him away to sit down.

Ikki shrugged. “Sorry. The traffic jam when everyone stopped in the doorway… I got bumped.”

“Yeah, sure. And like I didn’t notice that you left my name off that sign.”

Ikki looked down. “Oh. So I did. Oops.”

“You did it on purpose.”

“Boys,” Mrs. Mizutani said, and they both looked at her. She pointed to the seats, and Ikki took his first, still smirking. Zen glared at him and took a spot near the other end of the vehicle.

“And, for the record, I had nothing to do with hiring the limo, either. I would have actually hired a limo, or did you miss the outfit?” Ikki asked, and Jaehee tried not to look lest she start drooling. That would be incredibly embarrassing, and she had already fainted once. She was just light-headed from not eating, but still, it was not very professional of her. “This is a limo bus.”

“And as Ikkyu has no shortage of women throwing themselves at him and also has been banned from several regular bars for the ensuing chaos that can happen due to his eyes, he would not need such a thing in any vehicle,” Kent said, frowning as his mother patted the seat next to her. Kokoa took it instead and tugged him in beside her.

“I’m not sure I’m going to thank you for that, Ken.”

“You should thank me,” Mrs. Mizutani said. “You still owe us bail money, and it was very difficult to keep that off Kent’s record which would forever have damaged his ability to work in research.”

Ikki grimaced. “Okay, but it really wasn’t my fault.”

Zen snorted. “Like we believe that.”

“It actually was not Ikkyu’s fault. He had worn the proper glasses to minimize the effect of his eyes, and he did not throw the first punch.”

“You were in a bar fight?” Yoosung asked, excited. “Wow.”

“Rather unexpected of you,” Mr. Han said. “I must admit that makes me rather curious.”

“Details, details,” Seven said, producing a bag of Honey Buddha Chips seemingly out of nowhere. Yoosung tried to grab for them, but he held them out of reach.

“Ken and I were just having a few quiet drinks and these idiots kept calling out for someone to challenge them at pool, and when Ken and I tried to say no, they wouldn’t let it go, even after Ken warned them I was in professional clubs and that his strategy had been called ‘diabolical’ before. When we won without them being able to take a shot, they got angry and broke my glasses which made all hell break loose.”

“I have never seen either of them looking so disgraceful before,” Mrs. Mizutani said. “And that is saying something considering Ikkyu’s sleepwalking habits.”

“Hey,” Ikki protested. “I don’t—isn’t it your job as a parent to be embarrassing Ken here, not me?”

Mrs. Mizutani smiled. “You are like a brother to Kent, are you not? By extension, that would make you my son and you would fall under the same category.”

“Wait. You said Kent was the best looking man at the airport, not Ikki, right?”

“Of course. Kent resembles his father, and that man’s genetics cause an almost excessive weakness in me. Especially when he uses a rational argument. There is just something about the way Daichi speaks that is extremely compelling. Really, it still surprises me that Kent is our only offspring from the way I react to Daichi’s presence.”

“Mother.”

“Though I suspect Kent and Kokoa have an even stronger attraction and will likely surpass us not just in children but in other respects.”

“Mother!”

“Oh, look at them blush,” Ikki said. “They’re so cute.”

“Actually, I believe the person behind this change in transportation would have to have been Seven,” Jaehee said, and Kokoa shot her a look of gratitude. “As I made the reservations and did not alter them and no one else was aware of the change, it must have been him.”

“Seven.”

“What? It looked like a nice place to have a party.”

“For a bunch of pervy men,” Mrs. Han said. “Just because you’re going to meet Kokoa’s friends while we’re here does not mean that anyone is going to dance on that pole for you.”

“Says you,” Seven said, getting up and making a beeline for it.

Jaehee did not know who tripped him, but she knew they were all grateful someone did.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They reach the lab. There may even be some solution to Zen's problem.

* * *

“So this place is… your lab?”

“You may feel free to stay in the limo if you like, Zen. There will be cats inside.”

Zen frowned. “That’s not fair.”

“Technically, you knew what you were signing up for when you came along,” Ikki couldn’t help pointing out. “We never said there wouldn’t be cats. In fact, we said multiple times that there would be. And that you weren’t invited, but you didn’t take that hint.”

“This is supposed to be an RFA event. You can’t just exclude me because all of you have become freaks over furballs.”

“I suggest that you consider your words carefully,” Ken told him with a remarkable amount of calm considering how on edge his mother had made him in the limo. Actually, Ikki didn’t think anyone had been calm in that limo, not after Yoosung accidentally discovered the disco light. That had made a bad situation worse. “All of us are quite fond of our feline friends, that is true. That does not make us freaks. Cats are a very popular pet worldwide. They are second only to fish, and rank higher than dogs. Part of that, I suppose, is due to space concerns. It is often not possible for larger animals to be in small apartments or other rental properties.”

“Shut up about cats already.”

Ken adjusted his glasses, regarding Zen rather coldly. “If that is how you feel, then I will not offer my assistance. You may remain out here.”

“Why would I want your help? Ever?”

“Kent has allergy medication that might help,” Kokoa said. “And we’re not talking about something he picked up at the local drug store, either.”

“No, we are not,” Ken agreed. “You see, in my research to create the wine for cats, I had to look into basic reactions and allergens to prevent any negative response to the wine. I did come up with some interesting possibilities for allergy remedies that I believe have larger value to the world. Of course, the drug market is a very competitive and controlled field, which made it somewhat difficult to make much progress, particularly when it came to practical application and clinical tests. However, if you are interested… you can try it.”

Zen frowned. “Is this some kind of trick?”

“Nah,” Ikki said. “If it was a trick, Ken would be smirking, and he’s not. It’s a genuine offer.”

“I saw some of the preliminary reports,” Jaehee said. “It did seem promising.”

“Yes,” Jumin agreed, looking away from his wife for a moment. “I believe that would be the next area on which Kent should focus after the cat wine is a success.”

“You can help people with allergies and you’re prioritizing cat wine?”

Jumin smiled. “Yes, of course. This is for Elizabeth the third and my lovely wife, who gave me the idea. She is so thoughtful.”

“You are such a—”

“As a disclaimer, you should remember that my son is not a medical doctor,” Ken’s mom said. “His doctorate is in mathematics, and he is a talented researcher who will adapt to any project he’s given just like his father, but he is not a medical professional.”

“So this _is_ a trick?”

“Mother is being a lawyer. If you were not given all the facts and able to give informed consent, there would be legal ramifications.”

“So this… isn’t a trick?”

“It may be of no use to you at all,” Ken answered, and Zen frowned at him. “From what I have observed of your behavior so far, a large portion of your allergy seems to be psychosomatic, and if that is true, no medication or amount of it will help you.”

“What?”

“He’s saying part of your allergy is all in your head,” Ikki said, getting a glare from Zen. “Hey, he’s not wrong. You get itchy and sneezy looking at pictures of cats, which is not consistent with a typical cat allergy that is based on their saliva, fur, or dander.”

“Elizabeth the third can shed a lot,” Yoosung said. “A _lot.”_

“That is irrelevant,” Ken said. “The catalysts for an allergic reaction are not present in a picture. No fur, no dander, no saliva. That means Zen’s mind is creating his allergic reaction.”

“I _am_ allergic.”

“That I am not debating. You likely are allergic, but only you are making yourself react to a mere image. Those mental issues are well beyond me, but I will again extend the offer of my discovery towards allergy medication.”

Zen frowned. “Now you make me sound crazy.”

“You don’t like cats,” Ikki said. “In my book, that makes you certifiable.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zen takes the medication. It has side effects.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last part that I had previously written, and I meant to post it earlier, but I have been rather sick off and on lately. And I thought I was all out of the kind of crazy ideas that made this story work and should just end it, but... I don't know that I am completely out of them... My recent attempt at Ouran fic suggests otherwise, there's still some really insane ideas in me. I think it's as much as I've been sick lately, I haven't been up to a lot, my mood was bad along side being ill, but I'm still hopeful those moments will come back to me.

* * *

“This is safe, right?” Ikki asked in a low voice, making sure it was in Japanese even though at least a few members of the RFA spoke it, too.

“He signed the waiver. And Mother wrote it, so we cannot be sued.”

“Ah, good.” Ikki lifted his phone in time to catch the video of Zen gagging on the medication. Ken frowned, but Ikki just smiled. Considering how mean Zen was to such charming, innocent creatures as cats, Ikki didn’t figure a bit of discomfort over the medication was anything much.

“Okay,” Zen said. “How long before it works?”

“Hopefully not long, since you seem to think none of us should enter without you,” Jumin said, checking his watch again. His wife put her hand over it, and Ikki had to admit she’d distracted him good with just one touch.

That would probably work just as well on Ken, come to think of it. Kokoa should take notes.

“It is not in aerosol form or intravenous, so it will take longer. I suggest we allow Zen to wait a bit longer and I can come check on him after the tour is over.”

“I should be able to go on the tour,” Zen grumbled. “You can be a bit more patient.”

“I think we should have given Zen it on the limo,” Yoosung said, folding his arms over his chest with a pout. “I want to go see the kitties.”

Zen glared at him. “Do you have any idea what that will do to my beautiful face?”

“I’ve got pictures,” Seven said, holding up his phone. Zen went for him, tackling him to the ground and sending the phone flying.

“You know,” Ikki said, “I’m not sure who I have less sympathy for.”

“After that limo, I suppose very few of us have much for Seven,” Ken agreed. “Though Waka did inform me that all arrangements are made and he is looking forward to our presence.”

“Oh, hell, now _I’m_ scared,” Ikki said, shuddering. “Seriously, though, Ken, do we really have to wait for this guy to digest the medication? Because that will take a while.”

“Ikkyu, you, Kokoa, and I are all covered in cat hair despite our best efforts before leaving the building. Yet in all the time Zen has been around us, he has not reacted at all. I suspect his allergy is not half so severe as he believes it is.”

“Is your medication even real or is this an awesome and elaborate placebo effect prank?”

“The medication is real. I have no idea what the side effects might be, however.”

“And that would be why the camera is already ready.”

* * *

“Fine. It’s been half an hour. That’s what you’re supposed to wait before you go swimming after eating,” Zen said. “Let’s test this already.”

Everyone looked over at Kent. He folded his arms over his chest and pushed his glasses up his nose. “That is not the standard by which you should judge this medication—”

“Why don’t we start with this?” Kokoa asked, reaching into her bag and taking out a picture frame. Zen came over and took it from her, frowning at it.

“Is that the picture of Ken with the cats?”

“Not the one Seven showed the group chat,” she said. “This is my special one of Kent picking them all out. We went to a special breeder’s club and everything so we could guarantee the health of each kitten. They were all from licensed breeders with verified records.”

“I did appreciate that attention to detail,” Jumin said. “I do realize we are creating a product for cats which does require a level of animal testing, but I would not want to put any in danger or at risk, and that includes ensuring proper health before the experiment started.”

“Isn’t it usually policy to spay or neuter them before adoption?”

“That is at a shelter,” Kent said. “Most of the breeders do not take that step as many owners choose to continue the pedigree. We had discussed such a measure for them, but unfortunately before the decision was made, Lovelace was discovered to be pregnant.”

Yoosung frowned. “While Lovelace and the rest of the cat family are adorable, shouldn’t you have done that before you developed the wine?”

“Getting the cats was the last thing before practical trials. The wine was ready. We just needed some cats to try it and see if it was as tasty as it was safe and digestible for them.” Kokoa smiled brightly, returning to Kent’s side and wrapping her arm around his. “And it worked out for the best because Ikki has his cat family now and we were also able to confirm that the wine was not dangerous for pregnant cats.”

“Wow.”

“I will buy a whole box. Or gallon. What do you drink wine out of, anyway? A casket?” Seven grinned. “I think I want one. And I need a cat to go with it.”

“I think you’re not allowed to have cats,” Kent said, and Ikki nodded in agreement, as did Jumin and his wife.

“But… I love cats...”

“That is not love. It’s abuse.”

“Zen, if I may, I’d like to see that photograph,” V said, trying to get a look at it. “Zen?”

“Whoa. That’s weird,” Yoosung said, going over at the same time as Seven, both of them waiving their hands in front of Zen’s face. “Normally he’s screaming and crying and itchy by now, but he’s just starting at that cat picture.”

“It is adorable,” Seven said. “I want one.”

“No.”

“I’ll get one off your instagram later.”

Kokoa shook her head. “You stay out of my accounts. And that one’s not online, either. Just like that other one of Kent you stole from me.”

“Ah, your naughty pic. You really should share that with the world.”

“Naughty pic?”

“I accidentally sent one to Kokoa when I was half asleep and fumbling for my glasses,” Kent said. “It is not half so ‘naughty’ as he claims, even if I was not wearing a shirt at the time.”

“Ah, I see. You have good taste, my dear.”

“Mother.”

“Zen, you can stop staring at the picture now. I think we’ve proved you won’t react to photographs of cats while on this stuff,” Ikki said, frowning. “Okay, now who’s playing a prank?”

“This is not a side effect I would have expected,” Kent admitted with a frown. “The standard ones—nausea, vomiting, excessive urination—”

“Dude, gross.”

“And yet staring at cat photos to an apparently catatonic state was not one of them.”

* * *

“Okay, this is getting creepy. He won’t stop staring.”

“You think it’s creepy? I am actually _in_ that photograph.”

Ikki winced. “Right, Ken, point taken. So, how do we stop him from staring at the picture already? Because that is just… creepy.”

Kent sighed, taking off his glasses and pinching his nose. “I suppose we could try another loud noise, though one would have thought Seven’s shouts would have fractured his ear drums.”

“Yeah, and Yoosung already tried tugging on him.”

“I think we should take extreme measures,” Mrs. Han said, and everyone looked at her, but Kokoa smiled, rushing off into the lab. Everyone else exchanged glances and frowns. “Stop staring at me. This is the whole point, isn’t it?”

Kokoa returned, carrying Archimedes with her. She went up to Zen and held the cat up to his face, close enough for Zen to inhale from his fur. Ikki grimaced and lifted his camera only to be stunned speechless.

“Pretty kitty,” Zen said, taking the cat from an equally stunned Kokoa and cradling it in his arms.


End file.
